My relative passed away last week from complications due to radiation treatment. At least that is the medically pleasing, less offensive and less realistic way to state the cause. In the mess of all of this, there are plans that need to be made. A funeral perhaps, an obituary printed, condolences to the chosen family and the birth family.
I wrote an obituary for my relative. It is just my experience and memory shared in a few short lines. I have named the chosen family, but have opted to keep the birth family private, as is how we have all lived our lives.
But I am wondering who this is really for? I don't need it. I had my relative in life, and shared some fabulous moments that included laughter, pain, tears, joy, sadness and the emotional confab that makes up most of life. So I wonder why the expense of advertising a death? Who is it really for? The unknowing masses? The few who knew of or may recognize now the person named? What is the purpose? The birth family already knows of the death and has seen the drafted obituary. That satisfies the need.
I do not think that there is a need to publicly announce the passing, especially since this life went mostly unpublished. I think that perhaps this is for them, the chosen family. To pacify their pain. Because it is at times like this that they need public recognition. I am not sure why, but that is the feeling that I get. A bit of kindness at a terrible time.
