You can't just pick up where you lifed off. The world has moved on, especially in timed events. And in no timed events, you can pick up at any point and begin to live yourself forward. Just be sure to have your expectations in check. Some timed events are faster than others and some are slower. Cycling is a fast timed event. Once you get knocked down from that, it takes tremendous amount of effort to regain your ground. And you need a big carrot to motivate you to reach for the handlebars.
As to my photography works form the 2005 Tour de France, where I had prepped and planned them for market in 2006 et seqq-well, that was knocked off trajectory by a Brinks Armoured truck driver, GED educated GEORGE ESTRADA. He drove his 12 ton truck at about 25 to 35 miles per hour into the back of the car giving me a 3 + year back and spine injury which was anything but fun. What an idiot! Who taught that guy to drive? Then, after that course diversion, I got knocked completely off track by a divorced hispanic woman in her late 30s. She was driving faster than her guardian angel could fly. She smashed her car into the rear end of the car causing me worse back and spine injury and a massive head hit that gave me a big fat concussion that still hasn't cleared all the way. Another idiot! She must have a death wish! TRICIA ANN ORTEGA, slow your stupid self down. You almost killed me and my friend, not to mention the others on the same road going in the same direction. And this was Thanksgiving Day.
Well, it is now June 2009 and I am attempting to pick up where I lifed off. And that is what brings me write this. I am looking at my event photos and realizing that, yes, they are beautiful, exciting, and historically interesting. However, it feels like time has moved on and left them behind. Or rather, time has moved on and left me behind and they are here with me, stuck in a time vortex. Perhaps I can move them forward by moving myself forward. So that is where my planning is today. I used to be good at this stuff.
I think it is a good idea to at least begin to start planning again. It is a struggle. Going from high focus to no focus to a sudden stop, and then living in that stop for a very long time. But by trying a little bit by little bit, you can eventually regain your focus. I find that by blocking out extra environmental noise helps in a large way. Without the disc-tractions of the auditory outside world, the mind can better keep the eyes focused in front and thereby assisting in the creation and maintenance of focus in the presence of multiple outside distractions. Today this involved rethinking my position and what I can do to improve myself in this situation.
So, I thought I could pick up where I left off... and found that I lack the motivation, drive, interest, focus and intention. Additionally, physically and mentally, my ability is gone. More specifically, I lost my momentum towards this venture. I should say rather, that my motive got knocked out of me! And I do not know how to get it back in such a short amount of time. Without my visual mind, I am having great difficulty seeing this to fruition. But, I stick with the numbers and look and plan and wonder if I can really do thin now. But of course I can. Anywon can.
Brinks Incorporated Attorneys John Gardner Hayes and his associate Justin Lowtrip lost to a very injured and concussed me in court. I didn't even try my normal best. Just my best under all that was upon me. John physically destroyed a piece of my medical evidence in his office, and they still didn't win a verdict. It was the worst possible case presentation by me, though not by choice, and they still lost. What that tells me is that you don't have to be smart to be a lawyer. Maybe that is why there are so many bad ones out there.
And do I have a few stories on that....
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